edward thomas hardy

don't you just love it when you watch a movie and develop one of those altering crushes, then you Google him and he's too old?

Girlie Things You Should Start Doing Again

Sure, it's nice to be a grown-up. But experts say it pays to reclaim some of the qualities you had back when you didn't care what playing in the snow did to your blowout.

1. Eat the last cup-cake. Your 8-year-old self was fine with being a little bit selfish when the situation warranted it. (And she never passed up frosting.)

2. Write a fan letter. Spelling out how much you idolize someone- loopy script and heart-dotted i's optional- is a cool way to connect. It doesn't have to be a celeb- it means a whole lot more if it's to a former teacher or favorite coworker.

5. Ask a lot of questions. Raise your hand in a lecture or meeting. Your fifth-grade teacher always said the only dumb question is one that isn't asked. She's right, you know.

7. Wear fruity-flavored lip glosses. They're still yum and now a perfect complement to whatever lipstick color you have underneath.

8. Perfect your cart-wheel technique. A flawless execution never fails to impress anyone... and now that you are older and realize how amazing it is that your bod can do that, it can impress the hell out of you too.

10. Perform experiments. What happens if you "like" a crush's Facebook status? Can you turn your tee shirt into a stylish tank?

11. Imagine what you want to be when you grow up. Dreaming you'd be an actress/rock star/princess inspired you then. There's no reason it can't inspire you now.

12. Have a ridiculous celeb crush. (Check) It's fun to fantasize... and now that you're a grown-up, hey, there's a one-in-a-million chance you could actually snag that hot thing.

14. Take a nap. (Checkmate) Back then, you listened to your mom. Now, you listen to your body. Girls get tired. No shame in a midday lie-down.

17. Enter a contest. When you were a kid, you'd have races on the playground that would push you to do your best. Get that same adrenaline rush by entering a local run, a baking contest, an upload-the-best-YouTube-vid competition...

18. Laugh till you snort soda out of your nose. When something's hilarious, who cares if people at the next table give you dirty looks?

by Anna Davies

yeah Betty

endtapes

Sitting pretty
Uptightly
The knots
Keep you at my side
Upstairs in corners
Eyes blink for the crawl
Up and out my beacon
Will choke if yours is taken
I dare 4 more lines
4 more lines

Sellotape an end to
Sellotape an end to
Sellotape an end to
Sellotape an end

Hover thought
Mosquito
Bite down
My fickle hands machine
Surprises, meant for me
Up and out
My beacon will choke if yours is taken
I dare 4 more lines, 4 more lines

(Sellotape an end to)
In this broken way,
Sorry on repeat just fails, always

Sellotape an end to
A story that is hanging
Over silence always wasted
Swells with every tear drop
Pulls my threads to kid gloves
Sellotape an end to this

Thieves
Years
Leaves
Knots
Bleeds
Burst
Keeps apart
[repeat]

Sellotape an end to
A story that is hanging

My Year in Review: 2011

It took me forever to actually get this done, but I wanted to make it worth while. Didn't really make it into the 2011 mark... Oopsie, but here's my year in Review. Twas a bittersweet one. :)

January 1:

Brought in the New 2011 Year in Las Vegas with my older brothers Nero and Eric, and my mom. (Cousin Jason drove over too from California).

What I remember enjoying most were two things. First - one of the older hotels. I wish I could remember which one it was, but I can't at the moment. The inside is classic and beautiful, it reminded me of the inside of the Titanic. Everything had been preserved for as long as the hotel had been there. The artwork, the furniture, the marble balconies, the printed carpet covering the floors. Once we got off the streets and away from the crazy drunk crowd, walking through this seemingly deserted hotel was a nice, calm difference from the chaos of the other ones. I loved the older, classy feel of it. A beautiful place to see in Vegas.

and Second -

This all-white classic electric guitar that I spotted in a

novelty shop somewhere. When I saw it up on the wall, the space around it lit up and I started hearing angels sing… I wanted it so bad. It was going for 2,000 something at the time. (If I was a rich girl…… finish that sentence) Just a really gorgeous, classic guitar, signed by a musician who was famous in the 60s and 70s, Van Morrison. Anyone that knows me knows why I wanted it so bad. End of story let’s move on. :)

January 4: I did a video blog with no make up on, where I kept putting my finger over the speaker on the laptop which made a nice loud noise for everyone.

But I also talked about what was going on with me, what was coming up as far as the beginning of my year with acting. I mentioned starting rehearsals for my first play with the Reunion theater group, which was called Waiting On Trains. I played a snobby businesswoman in her 30s named Sue. I talk more about the part and the play's story in the vblog.
I loved playing Sue. Loved. (Have to remember to e-mail the guy who recorded the shows... I keep forgetting.) Also mentioned the current book I was reading, Bel Ami by Guy De Maupassant, and mentioned the extra features on the DVD and the actors of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Then briefly at the end, mentioned a small film that I was getting ready to do, called "68 Minutes", directed by a great guy, John Lamar. My very first film. My scenes were shot on January 30th in the Seattle area, and still today I haven't seen the finished product. Am hoping I'll get a chance to soon. The wait is sad... you want to see the first thing you've ever done. It was a really fun shoot and my part was fun, the "teenaged babysitter who gets in trouble with mom", named Chloe. I always get these tude characters.............. *I wonder what that could mean*...


February 15: Got my second film role, this time a short film titled "Left Out" by Diego Resendez. Sadly, that one fell through. There was an e-mail sometime in March announcing a "halt in production".... I was really sad to say goodbye to that script because I really loved it and loved the story. Would have loved to play that part, and I really love short films so I was excited to do one. But that's all in how it goes I guess, and you keep moving forward.

February 23: My talented friend Stalo from Cyprus edited this picture of me by Cathryn Farnsworth that I love. ♥

March 14: My dad went into the hospital following a car accident at around 11 PM, that happened not 5 minutes from my house. I heard the whole thing from my bedroom.

March 16: I wrote down a dream that I had, which I do often, in my journal. Sometimes I don't mind sharing my quirky little dreams, I've put them on here before. They can be pretty bizarre and sometimes seriously hilarious. And sometimes they're good... like, I could write a script with this good. So here's one that I had the early morning of March 16th, and then wrote down.
(Please try not to die from laughing too hard)

--

I woke up at about 3am randomly, haven't got a clue why, but my dream was amazing. My brother (Eric, the actor) had told me to come to Los Angeles because he had some news for me. The news, when I got there, was that he had somehow gotten me in for an audtiton for Robert Pattinson's next movie. Yeah, dream fucking big, right? When I woke up, I thought back on how completely unrealistic the dream was. I compared it to reality---- I have no resume. Or, my resume is that of a kindergardener's compared to an actress that would really be eligible for an audition for a Robert Pattinson movie. Kindergardener isn't even a good enough analogy. But I'd gotten a fucking audition in my dream. I thought about everything, I can't remember what movie it was, but I assumed upon waking that it was for "Cosmopolis", a David Cronenberg movie that's starting filming in May. I have no idea what the part was. I don't remember actually going to an audition. I just got the news from my brother of landing an audition.

I remember thinking in the dream, "I'm going to need to take something, like, half a valium, to calm my nerves and make it through this." Even though I have no memory of what part I might've been auditioning for, I remember knowing that Robert would be there. (Would definitely need to take something.) Funny that I thought of taking half a valium, that's exactly what Robert Pattinson did before his audition for "Twilight"... Just, what the fuck. Is all I have to say to this dream. My resume is one tiny film and theater work. Your dreams really can blow things way the hell out of porportion, can't they?

I imagined watching Rachel McAdams audition tapes on the Bonus Features of "The Notebook" DVD, my favorite movie of all time. Very nice of them to allow those to be shared. She was in a room standing across from the director, someone else, and Ryan Gosling, all in chairs, watching her. Ryan Gosling is the actor that starred opposite her in the movie. She had to read for the most pivotal scene, where Noah and Allie are saying "What do you want?" to eachother. She's crying, panting, all of this in the audition. In front of these three guys just staring at her, in chairs. Ryan was watching her as if to say, "Hm, we'll see if this chicks got it. If not, next." He was the bankable one. Allie Hamilton's part casting depended on him. I imagined these audition tapes upon waking. In my dream I somehow knew it would be an audition similar to that, so I couldnt've been auditioning for the role of the waitress with one line, that's for damn sure. It was surreal.

I thought of Emilie De Ravin, who starred opposite Robert in "Remember Me". I thought of her resume. I haven't had a proper look at it, but I know her most credible work is on the TV show "Lost". "Lost" is popular, but a tv show. Sure she's probably done other films prior to, though, and that probably doesn't matter much. ANYWAYS what am I talking about, a million thoughts were running through my head. I thought of Tate Ellington then. He was Robert's supporting actor in "Remember Me", the biggest part after his leading lady. Tate played his college room mate and buddy. I focused on Tate, because I remembered right away that I had looked up his resume months ago, upon becoming a fan of his after "Remember Me", and was astounded how small his resume was compared to this part. First of all, he doesn't even have a photo up on IMDb, he's done small tv appearances, nothing credible. I remember how taken aback I was. He was phenomenal in "Remember Me", I was just taken aback as to how he got the damn part, or an audition for that matter.

He had about 5 small tv appearances on his resume, and some other behind-the-camera stuff, if I'm remembering correctly. Who knows, his role in "Remember Me" might've been a "someone you know" situation, who fucking knows. But for some reason, after thinking about him, I felt a lot better about the dream in comparison to reality for me.

x

April 3:

My Hero of a dad passed away peacefully at 10:11 am, at home with me, my older brother Nero and my step mom by his side. He was 76 years old. Sometimes I think back on a lot of things but most of the time I don't, unless something reminds me to. Will always remember him for the hero that he was. Hope some day I can really make him proud.

April 4: First day of the quarter at school. Crazy, right? I felt like I couldn't miss my college classes, and it was my decision. And what's crazier is that I made it through the day like a normal person. Can't even explain it.

April 20: I decided to see what being an extra in a film is like for the first time. The film was being shot in Everett and was called "Ira Finklestein's Christmas", a Disney-esque Hallmark channel movie that was trying to get made into a feature. I got the tip about extras being needed from a friend.

I'd read enough, knew enough about what extras do. Usually involving signing some sort of contract where they promise not to do stuff. I liked the idea of trying it, just to see how it was..... but that's how anything starts isn't it. I think that one time of being hearded like cattle was enough for me. The experience was nice at times, I got to watch a female director first hand, which almost made me cry from happiness. But overall I don't think it's for me. lol My feet were killing me after standing on them all day. I was treated well though in some instances, the guy asked me to come back a second day because they wanted to feature me. They "really liked my look" (harrr) and were gunning for me to come back and actually appear as a drink server in a club scene. I was gung ho to do this until I found out they were shooting in an industrial area of Seattle where no buses ran, and I had no ride. I completely missed that opportunity, and cried. That was a tough day.

April 22:

FINALLY after being really excited for the movie and waiting for it, WFE came out in theaters. Loved it. Was too proud and amazed and blown away. Endofstory let's move along. Go watch it!

May 7: Dad's Memorial took place in Lynnwood. Was very private, only close family came. My sister Erin, her boyfriend Eric and my nephew Trenton flew in from Florida, my brother Eric came from LA, sister Stefani came from Philidelphia, brother Nero, mom, step mom and I were all here. We took a ferry ride and spread his ashes in the Puget Sound. Then came home and had a big dinner, celebrated his life. The day was a teary blurr, but I'm happy when I think back on it. All of us getting to spend that time together for my dad.

His favorite Quote: "I'm Just Trying To Make It Work"

June 25: Went to the San Juan Islands in Washington for my mom's birthday celebration, where she performed with her Jazz band. Twas a nice small getaway to a beautiful part of the state. Island people are great, a lot like country people because they're so secluded. Had a fun time and took lots of pics of all the pretty, quaintness.

July and August I guess my life ceased to exist because I honestly cannot remember or find a thing.

September 14:

My sister had announced her engagement to her boyfriend Eric to the family, was planning a November wedding, and we were all elated. Then came the news that they were going to have a baby! My sister and her future mother-in-law flew to Seattle and we all went shopping for her dress on September 14th. *Awkward moment when you're the little sister in the bridal gathering* but it was a fun day. Found the perfect dress, toured Seattle and blasted Bruno Mars.

September 15: As if the universe just really wanted to show how drastically and quickly it can change, my future nephew, Christian Steven Hart passed away on this day in the afternoon. Heartbreaking.

These are my footprints,

so perfect and so small.

These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints
were meant for other things.

Christian's tattoo from his dad.

October 14: Started getting really, really, super duper, majorly excited for a certain film... due to release in November... that'd been anticipated all year.... where there are some actors who have names like Stewart and Pattinson and Lautner... and there are some vampires and werewolves who fight... and there's a "breaking" and a "dawn" somewhere in there... I'm getting excited just reminising... so yes around October I was ready to pee. I'm an honest Twihard. On October 14th, talked about a scene that was released here. Yeah... bring on Edward Cullen and his back muscles, and headboard breaking.

October 17: Went running successfully for the first time in my life. Huge success that needed to be written down.

November 3:

Two of my favorite people ever to watch in film (and Taylor Lautner) put their hand and footprints in the cement on Hollywood Blvd, and I had little sappy tears flowing. I sure did.

November 9:

Flew to Miami with my older brother Nero (let's not talk about those flights) ahead of my sister's wedding. I don't know what it is but me and flying just can't get along. I dread the little hour and a half flight to LA. On the plus side was going to check out South Beach, which I've never been to but have heard the best, see family I hadn't seen in ages, and meet new family.

November 11:

My sister Erin's gorgeous wedding, where I played paparazzi and took 250 pictures. That way I could avoid dancing. And where I also drank too much which was illegal and embarrassed myself. But, I got some gorgeous pictures and good videos.

Wasn't kidding about 250 pics so let's direct here shall we

and videos:

bride and groom dance, daaawww

November 12: South Beach day in Miami. Loved the city.

November 18: Drumroll please..... Breaking Dawn Part 1 is finally released in theaters. Finally a clear view of back muscles and headboards breaking, along with Rio, accidental pregnancy and CGI wolves. Some fights and blood drinking and emotional moments. Oh, there were some emotional moments. The reviews were pretty bad but lets just let us have our fun, shall you? ;)

oh yeah Edward.

December 1: I'm 21! For my 21st birthday I got... a regular day job. It was a much needed gift. Instead of going to LA for the weekend, like my spoiled alter ego wanted. I'm glad the other side of me won. Because I got to spend the holiday buying gifts with my own cash and taking care of a lot of things. Twas a great birthday indeed. :) Thinking I'll celebrate more at a later time.

It's a good feeling not having any restrictions anymore, and knowing I can go wherever I'd like. When you have those restrictions you feel like you'll go wild once they're gone. Then when they are gone you feel like you have a whole lot of time ahead of you and there's no rush. At least that's how I felt anyway. I'm a granny. With big boobs and no wrinkles.

December 17 and 18: Randomly got offered free tickets and a backstage pass to Jay-Z and Kanye West for two nights in Vancouver, by a friend of my mom's, so naturally I uh.... JUMPED AT IT. Two nights back to back of seeing them, during their "Watch The Throne" tour, with all access because my mom's friend's son-in-law is their keyboard player. Was damn amazing.

Sadly they weren't backstage where I was, were somewhere else back there but was still pretty amazing. Drunk girls falling over, getting led away by the hand by sober guys, we know what happens next there. Weed everywhere. Drinks everywhere. Had great seats during the shows right under the "2nd stage" in the sound area, which was a small platform stage in the middle of the floor that rose up. Being right up under Jay-Z when he came out was crazy. I've been looking at him on tv and listening to him since I was 10, I never thought about actually seeing him and then there he was literally right in front of me, close enough to reach up and touch. Was the same feeling with Kanye. (I have a weird soft spot for Kanye so I have to admit I felt tears) He was aggressive and weird though.... I loved it. I got some really nice videos but the camera I was using added some kind of static noise to them. :(

and with that said

December 21:

Was inspired to make a wedding video for my sister and her husband, as a Christmas/Anniversary gift. Thought this particular song was perfect. ♥

December 25:

Christmas in Seattle. Was a quiet one this year with no snow in Lynnwood or Seattle. I'm used to snow during Christmas... boo. But it was still nice, just a quiet one.

books I read this year:

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

Bel Ami by Guy De Maupassant

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler

Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo

That's My Year in Review. :) Was definitely bittersweet, but hoping this year will be the one where I can really go out and experience/try new things, see new things and grow grow grow. Hello 2012. :)