Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I genuinely miss someone. That's not family I mean. Usually I'm lying when I say that. But I just thought of someone and actually felt sad that I can't talk to them right now... he's like 10 zillion miles away. School starts in like 6 days or something, my summer will finally be over. I'll finally have something productive to focus on. I'll finally be asleep when everyone else is. :D! I'm gonna go and try that now...

x



Sunday, December 20, 2009

Phok you

Almost died yesterday. Don't feel anything at all today.
Only thing that has given me a spark of emotion was the trailer.

March 19, 2010

Friday, December 18, 2009

the GL


My sister is currently curling her hair in the bathroom and I'm eating a huge cheese quesadilla. So healthy. My brother gets home for Christmas break today! Yesss. This Christmas should be great. I'm just wondering where the snow is... I think this is the first Christmas I've ever had in my hometown without snow. Global Warming?







I always had a passion for flashin' before I had it
I close my eyes and imagine, the good life

Thursday, December 17, 2009




song of the day
"saviour"- lights

Ignore me even more.


It's helping. I'm getting stronger.





" That's the tragedy here. It's not that we'll miss out on seeing a man who could have been a brilliant player, it's that someone who had once been so far down the wrong path could have come back. He was on his way. If things had continued to go the way they were headed, Chris Henry could have one day stood in front of the world as an example that no matter what you've done in the past, that your future can be better. He could have told the at-risk youth of the world, "Yes, it can be difficult to change the direction of your life, but it can be done, and you have the power to do it. I did it, and you can do it."

What a great thing that could've been for the world to have. Too many times, a gifted person comes along, and we automatically make them a role model. Inevitably, they end up doing something to let us down. The truth is, though, that those were never the role models we needed. The role models we need are the people who let us down first, and then show the strength and character to fight back from that.

Sooner or later, we're all going to let somebody down. We're all going to screw up. But life is about how you come back from it, how you learn from it and how you use it to make yourself a better, stronger person.

Chris Henry was becoming that guy. And we could have used that. "

R.I.P

Saturday, December 12, 2009

But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way To see the lights all faded And that heaven is overrated? Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar And then you missed me While you were looking for yourself?

Na Na Na Na Na Na

Friday, December 11, 2009


This is the birthday weekend. Not for me, though. Going to my first drag show tomorrow. Really anticipating the flamboyance, body shots and fake eyelashes that I'm about to be exposed to!! Yess. And tonight is Haidee's birthday dinner in Kirkland. Lately It's been the 'so cold you don't wanna get out of bed' weather. I just walked into my bathroom and it felt like what I guess it would feel like to walk into an igloo. And I had such a cute dress & coat combo picked out :( No go

x




Debbie's iTunes Recently Added:

1 Walking Away 3:29 Craig David
2 Day N' Nite 3:43 Kid Cudi
3 Closer 4:00 Kings of Leon
4 Special Needs 5:16 Placebo
5 Let Me Take You There 3:46 Plain White T's
6 Set The Fire To The Third Bar 3:24 Snow Patrol

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

tpid , a silent sleeper you won't hear a peep peep



Lately I've been getting so bad that I'm to the point where I feel like I would do anything. And that's no good. No good at all. Nothing I want or obsess over is going to change what is fact. I think I need to get out of here. I think it's this town, I'm dying. But I have responsibilities. I have to go to school. I start college in January and that's that. What am I gonna do? Move away, on my own, and not go to college? And if I go to college somewhere else, where I long to be, it'll be foreign. I saw the movie Taken. I'm a cautious person, not a reckless person. So it's a moot point. I want out but I have responsibilities. Done. I'm no different then every 12 out of 15 people in this world, huh? What a baby. I promise I'm not a baby. I just feel like I'm dying. Nothing is getting any better. I tune in on all these commercials and songs that say it'll get better. But it doesn't. It's only gotten worse. I've only gotten worse. It's been a year now.

x

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I haven't been myself


I haven't been myself
I haven't been myself
I haven't been myself
Bogus excuse so I'm just gonna call it my explanation
I can't make any sense of it and
I wish I had more to say to you.
I just haven't been myself lately
Hate to sound typical and phony and cliche
I promise, I'm HONESTLY trying to say,


It's not you, it's me.
lately,
I haven't been myself

I'm sorry.
________________________


“You can never be known for what you want to be known for,”
“People will know you for whatever they want to know you for.”
- RP

________________________

so I have 200 profile views in 2 months? awesome. someone likes me.

Monday, December 7, 2009

who has a holga camera? who has vision?



When it rains it snows on this prairie town


there's a good three inches on the ground


seems I'll be losing any peace I've found,







going to Los Angeles for a few days towards the end of this month, before st. nick comes. Yes!

Saturday, December 5, 2009






movie list ;

Remember Me
Up in the Air
No Greater Love
The Runaways
Cracks
The Yellow Handkerchief
How To Be
Armored
Welcome to the Rileys



I'm having LA withdrawal. Going to ask my dad if I can go for a 3 day weekend soon. Wish me luck. And Vancouver BC looks like a yes go. All I want to do is go to dirty bars and experience life, k? maybe some nice clean ones too.
he's a brit.


lovers, keep on the road you're on.
runners, run til the race is run.
soldiers, you've got to soldier on.
sometimes, even the right is wrong.

I have no doubt, one day the sun'll come out .

up in the air


Take the time to take apart, each brick that sits outside your heart
And look around you
There's people everywhere
And though they don't always show it they're just as scared
And we'd be more prepared if you just pulled on through


I want you to try to help yourself

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I have no idea how I'm feeling. Well maybe I do, but I can't put a word to it. I guess there's no word for it. I've been kind of emo the past few days. haha I guess emo is when you feel super mellow and nothing excites you, right? Yeah, that's me right now. I had fun at Pike Place Market today with my mom and sister. Bought two books for 3$ each, and some apricots. haha Got Pride & Prejudice and Wuthering Heights, so now I'll finally get to finish it. Watched a really talented homeless man play and sing country music. I had no idea that Pike's had a sort of creepier, almost deserted 3rd floor down below. Nothing much is down there except an old used books store, a closed down pre school and a fortune teller. It felt like any other day. I don't feel any different, being older. Ehrm... I've had background music in my head all day. It was special needs by placebo. And the ending of that movie is still on my mind. Top it off? I feel like I want to scream, but I can't.



Just 19 and sucker's dream I guess I thought you had the flavor
Just 19 and dream obscene with six months off for bad behavior

Remember me...

- placebo

Monday, November 30, 2009

remember me



March 12, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8Vg3fqIWGs


^ click the picture,
see all the sadness in his eyes?
finally learned something about this movie that explains that



Never forget.

set the fire to the third bar

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

Monday, November 23, 2009


Up with your turret/ Aren't we just terrified/ Shale, screen your worry from what you won't ever find/ Don't let it fool you/ Don't let it fool you...down./ Down's sitting round, folds in the gown./ Sea and the rock below/ Cocked to the undertow/ Bones blood and teeth erode, with every crashing node/ Wings wouldn't help you/ Wings wouldn't help you...down./ Down fills the ground, gravity's proud./ You barely are blinking/ Wagging your face around/ When'd this just become a mortal home?/ Won't, won't, won't, won't,/ Won't let you talk me/ Won't let you talk me… down./ Will pull it taut, nothing let out,


mmm .

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Even though you're the only one I see
If you ask, I'll cut you free



The Twilight Saga: New Moon

okay so, I waited a day.
two thumbs wayyy up.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Don't need these clothes
Don't need this house
Don't need this land or skies
Cause I just wanna get along with you
These eyes, don't need these thighs
As a matter of fact this damn life
Cause I just wanna get along with you

Try me, cause I'd be
The one that makes you happy
But the part that I don't get is
Why me? You deny me
Now I'm forced to roam this planet
Sadly, lonely like some used briget

You took my heartbeat from me
This is the saddest story
What was wrong with my love?
You took my heartbeat from me
Should have just stabbed it for me
From ashes to dust, I just wanna get along with you

Dear diary,
I remember like it was yesterday
It was November
I no longer have any need for these worldly things
I wanna go where he is
I'll follow the fire in the sky
And like that I'll be gone

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Today started out so pretty, but now it looks like it's going to storm again :( It's raining ice pretty hard. Wow the weather is so unpredictable around this time of year. Fall is always the most confusing. It looks like winter weather might come early too, it was so cold and raining hale so hard last Friday that it covered the ground like snow. But on another subject, a better one, New Moon is in theaters in 3 days :D I am so excited I don't even know what to say. I'm gonna wait out the craziness and not go to see until it's been out for a few days. I know I can last that long. lol Because I don't want to deal with the psychos on opening night that won't be quiet and watch the movie. Kristen Stewart looked really gorgeous at the premiere (in the picture. click to make bigger) I love the Oscar de la Renta gown. But how does she stay pale like that when she lives in LA? lol I'm sure the sun is still shining there. Write again soon!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

my favorite christmas song

On this day, snowy day
Let me thank you for the joy you're giving me...
I'm so happy...
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me
winter bliss when we kiss
Every wish my lips could see
I'm so happy...
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me

Snowy day
Would you please take me away
Away with you...
Hold me so closely
Like the moonlight lights the sky...

In my dreams of soft winter breeze
Eases my mind, but when I wake
there's nothing but leaves
Still, I'm happy...
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me

Oh, how I imagine the day we met
And those tingles from those little butterflies...
Reminiscing, I get so happy
I just break down and cry

Candlelight burning bright
Underneath a cool, starry night
You and me, endlessly, it's the greatest gift
that love could give to me

On this day, snowy day
Let me thank you for the joy you've given to me...
I'm so happy...
To have snowflakes of love smiling down on me.

Monday, November 9, 2009

I have a life-supply of red vines at my house thanks to my dad, so that's basically what I've been living off of. He always takes things over-board. Lol If I tell him I need a winter jacket, he goes out and gets a jacket you would wear while skiing or something, we HAVE to be at the airport 4 hours early for a flight, and if I tell him to grab some red vines, he comes back with the life supply package from Costco. I'll probably never eat red vines again, I'll be so sick of them after this!

So I'm really excited for... New Moon, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas. I can only think of two things that I actually want. It's probably going to snow. So my plan for Vancouver BC might not work out :( So my list went down from three to two. But we'll see. Maybe my friend who has a truck can drive. But that's kind of scary....

I wrote two songs today :) Currently trying to figure out the way the words should be sung. That's the hard part. The song "Strawberry Swing" kind of inspired me to write music.

x


The sky could be blue, I don't mind,
without you it's a waste of time.


song of the day:
"strawberry swing" - coldplay

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Sooo what the heck happened to blogspot? They don't let you change your font anymore when you make a post. Or the size of the font, or the color... Why did they all the sudden decide to take that off? That's annoying.. So I'm up right now, at 5:00 am, because I slept most of yesterday. I have another dentist appt later this morning and he tells me to take meds the day before? I guess my teeth are that sensitive... Sooo the meds make me suuuper drowsy and all I do is sleep. Which is fine with me. lol I love sleeping. I don't remember dreaming at all though... all that time that I was asleep. No dreaming whatsoever. That's... different. lol I realized something. I really want them to stop releasing parts of New Moon. haha Ive seen like half of the movie already. lol They released ANOTHER scene and it's on myspace. Okay theres teasers and then there's giving too much away. They're giving too much away. For people that arent huuuge fans of the series, they're not even gonna wanna see it because they've seen so much of it in little peices already. Oh wellll, it's their promoting. But I WAS excited to see something that came out recently. Lupe Fiasco's song for the soundtrack "Solar Midnite" is really sick! and Anya Marina's music video for her song "Satellite Heart" on the soundtrack. I love it so much! The scenery is beautiful and it's one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack. It's kinda emo but it goes perfectly with the story. lol New Moon :)


'Satellite Heart' Anya Marina

Anya Marina | MySpace Video

Sunday, November 1, 2009



H a p p y
H a l l o w e e n


This is my favorite holiday of the year!
I love the night time :)
Hope everyone had a great one!


song of the day :
"jump then fall" - taylor swift

Wednesday, October 21, 2009
















all of the astronauts

champagne in plastic cups


waiting for the big hero to show

outside the door he stands

his head in his hands

and his heart in his throat

what can he tell them now?

sorry I let you down

sorry it wasn't quite true


but don't get hung up on it

just solider on with it

and good luck with shooting the moon



- Ok Go

Tuesday, October 20, 2009






Today's pretty chill, had to go to the stupid dentist this morning and get my teeth scrubbed and poked. They were pretty mad at me earlier but now I feel better. Waiting for my sister to come and get me and I don't know what we're doing. It's kind of foggy today even though the sun is shining? I don't know how that works. I need more sweaters. And I want these boots that I saw at Anthropologie in Seattle. Bad! Within the next 2 weeks. :D Ankle patent leather fall style. Me gusta. I don't know why I have that picture of Kristen Stewart's legs there. lol I just love that picture. Anyways I'm babbling talking about nothing.

<3

song of the day: "all I wanted" - paramore

Monday, October 19, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

& you can do no wrong

in my eyes


www.myspace.com/twilight & scroll down to listen


song of the day: "hearing damage" - thom yorke

Saturday, October 10, 2009


So I have to write about the last few hours. My Mom came to pick me up and we went down to Seattle just to drive around and to look at her old job that she was at for 13 years. I was just remembering everything from when I was a little kid. Being on Queen Anne hill always reminds me of my childhood. I saw all the old restaurants that I used to go to on her lunch breaks (my mom was a work-a-holic), some of the places are now gone and new things are there. Old markets that I used to go to, the post office my mom used to stop at every day, pike place market, the park where my parents watched president Clinton speak, the science center that I was forced to go to as a kid, the costume store where I got my halloween costumes. The building that was my dad's (where my mom worked) is now a condo complex. It feels so surreal to look at those streets. Remembering when I was there and knee-high and a brat hahaha, just kidding. I loved talking about and remembering everything. Wish my brother Nero could've been there, buuut he's in Pullman at school. It wasn't really complete without him. We called him though. Haha. I love Seattle. I think I have the most beautiful home town in the world...



<3
Today, today, today.

All yesterday I was with my sister! Who just moved back down here from Los Angeles. Her job transferred her here which is really cool and I'm excited! And my mommy moved back too! So the only one still in LA is my brother Eric :( I kind of feel like we left him alone. Haha. But he's an actor so that's his town. But everyone's from here. My sister graduated from Edmonds Woodway. So her and my nephew are now back here in Renton. I stayed at their house last night, and we saw "The Couple's Retreat" with my sister's friends Tess and Becka. It was pretty asstastic, I liked it!

This morning at 8 I was dead on my face in a dream-less sleep when my nephew Trenton nudged me on the shoulder and I plopped up to my alarm going off. I would've slept right through it. I honestly have no clue how I'm going to survive in the real world. I just... won't wake up to my alarm sometimes. Well, me and my sister were going to go running that's why I set my alarm. So we just ended up going to the gym and ran on the treadmill for an hour. Yeeeee... excersise.

Afterwards we came to our other family friends Robin and Corey's house and ate a huge breakfast. Soo, now I'm stuffed full of bacon and that whole run just went to waste. Haha. Oh well, I love bacon.

I want to go to Old Navy today and get the sweater that I've been eyeing since two weeks ago! I think I'm gonna do that today. And then find an H&M for my sister. Yayyy my life is so much fun ...


song of the day: "young forever" - jay z

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Well today's boring. Just went to the mall earlier and looked around. Stores bore me now! What's going on with me? Only thing that caught my eye was a shirt that said "only a vampire can love you forever" hahaha And something else weird, foods that I used to love are making me sick. I bought cookies from Mrs. Field's and they made me feel gross. I usually love those. When I eat a strawberry I feel sick, I used to be able to eat a whole thing of them by myself. Wierd...

I had a bizzare dream last night, as usual. I need to put my dream catcher back up over my bed because I hate this. And the stupid wood pecker outside my window woke me up at 6 am again. I was dreaming I was in some hallway walking next to someone really tall. A guy. But I didn't turn to look and see who through the whole dream because I guess the "me" in the dream already knew who it was. Idk. And the hallway was really bright and had pictures on it. Pictures of people. That's creepy.

The only thing I can remember is feeling really content. And short. But I felt completely relaxed. I don't think I've ever felt short in my life, so that was bizzare to me. I guess I should look this one up and see what it means?



<3




btw, download this!
"Brand New Eyes" - Paramore


Please look at this sick ass picture from "New Moon", out November 20, 2009. I honestly can't wait for this movie anymore. They keep releasing all these teaser trailers, gah! Just shoot me.



I could follow you to the beginning, just to relive the start. and maybe then we'll remember to slow down, at all of our favorite parts ...

Hey, so this is new. I like it! Heard alot about it, that's for sure. I love writing so I'm sure I'll like this. Oh that and facebook is getting kind of annoying, because more and more people are joining it. I really love simple little myspace now. lol I feel a little by myself on myspace, except for a few other people that still get on. Perfect. :)

This picture makes me sad, because my nose ring came out and closed months ago. So I can't take pictures like that anymore. Maybe get it pierced again? Maybe...

song of the day: "oh star" - paramore