Monday, December 20, 2010

hallo, bel-ami

Duroy, who on that particular evening was feeling light-hearted, said with a smile: 'You're in a black mood, tonight, my dear sir.'
The poet replied: 'I always am, my boy, and you will be too, just like me, in a few years' time. Life is a hill. While you're climbing up, you look towards the summit, and you're happy; but when you reach the summit, suddenly you can see the slope down, and the bottom, which is death. It's slow going up, but coming down is quick. At your age, you're happy. You hope for so many things, which more-over never happen. At my age, you don't hope for anything anymore... except death.'
Duroy began to laugh: 'My God, you're giving me the shivers.'


Thursday, December 16, 2010

wfe



"Recently I stood in the desert, far outside of L. A., and watched the sun set on a circus tent from 1930. Everywhere stood animals: elephants, tigers that should be loaded into a steam train. 300 extras in costumes raced around, the modern world had disappeared totally. Although that was totally fake, it still happened directly before my eyes! That was my perfect day. I would gladly experience that every day. It happens continually to me: It calls itself work. That is wonderful and more than enough."


4/22

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

playing god btv


next time you point a finger
i'll point you to the mirror

Thursday, November 25, 2010

color of my dream lyrics

nothing you say leaves me
it's all various levels of you
though I may not understand it all
I listen, I admire
my personal burning desire

you have a way
of being yourself
though I'm not in your life
I could gamble your wealth
that I know what you'll do
I know what you'll say
screen show me his face
any given day
and desire remains

derry down green
you sing
the words I hear
if it's months
if it's years
I would like to see you

private and shy
nothing misconstrued
you want things out of life
I want it all for you
for you to smile
for you to laugh
you to work, perfect your art
no harm in your path

this matters to me
though strange
how you'll grow, how you'll change
it's been a few years
and desire remains

derry down green
you sing
the words I hear
if it's months
if it's years
I would like to see you

but this isn't me
to care on a stranger
can you tell me how
you're making this change?
I know myself
but not with you
the things I've done
and continue to do
all various levels for you
you sing and play
I feel tears
I'm stunned by my reaction

derry down green
you sing
the words I hear
if it's months
if it's years
I would like to see you

yeah you sing
derry down green
color of my dream
I hear the words
if I wait months
if I wait years
one day I'd like to see you

to see you
one day I'd like to see you


Monday, November 22, 2010

Thursday, November 18, 2010


www.cathrynfarnsworth.com


Thursday, November 11, 2010

BD




Looook what we have here. There's still like a year to wait for the movie but I might just ruin it by looking at all these pictures. I can't help it, look at how fucking beautiful Robert, I mean Edward is! ... I don't even know what else to say. He is the cutest little twenty four year old boy on this whole little planet. I want to find his parents and give them a thank you basket, and I want to find Catherine Hardwicke too. Because if it wasn't for Twilight he'd probably be... an out of work actor doing indies here and there, and that guy that died in Harry Potter. I'm also really glad that I'm probably the only person that I know that likes him this much. lol Or at all. I think I actually know two people that like Robert Pattinson. haha Just the way I like it. This movie officially looks like it'll be great. I can't believe it won't be out for a year! That's hard to believe.

Monday, November 1, 2010

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
— Bob Marley

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

WTTR


"She definitely has the capacity to not be alone, to trust people, and let people in. That's good for any girl—that basic idea that you have to like yourself to have other people like you or love you. It's a big problem for girls, just innately. It's good for that, really good for that."


10/29

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

sh*t my boyfriend says

Cosmopolitan Magazine (November 2010)


"An ex asked me, 'Do you get off when you insert a tampon?'"

"When I first started dating my boyfriend, we were in the middle of having sex when he suddently shouted, 'Mary and Jimmy. Our children's names should be Mary and Jimmy.'"

"My boyfriend told me that I was 'the best thing since toilet paper.' Romantic... kind of?"

"When my boyfriend couldn't find a movie suggestion he liked on Netflix, he said, 'This is depressing. We should just have sex."

"We were sitting on the couch, and my guy looked at me and said, 'Your head looks like an onion.' When he saw the horrified look on my face, he tried unsuccessfully to backpedal and explain, 'No, I mean, it's just, you know, really round.'"

"A few years after my ex and I started dating, we reminisced about the night we met at my sorority formal. I told him something about how cute he looked, and then he said, 'I thought you were a lesbian.' Uh, not what I was expecting. He tried to explain by saying, 'You were too pretty to not have a date , so I thought maybe you weren't into guys.' Yeah, I never let him forget that one."
[story of my life]

"I was on my period, and he really wanted to have sex. I wasn't that comfortable with it, so I told him no. He replied, 'Can't you like, make it stop for a few minutes or something?'"

"My ex and I were watching a television show that featured a pregnant character, and he blurted out, 'I'm so jealous of women. I wish I could carry a child!'"

"We were in bed when he wrapped his arms and legs around me and yelled, 'I'm Spiderman, and now you're trapped in my web!'"





Sunday, October 17, 2010

Saturday, October 16, 2010

toast


Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... The ones who see things differently -- They're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... They push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do...



Saturday, October 9, 2010

"I've never felt this way about anyone... I want to do something for her! But what?"


"Well, there's the usual. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..."





Thursday, October 7, 2010

shocking news

Shocking news after shocking news. Some is shockingly [good] and some shockingly [bad]. I think I feel equally happy and alarmed about both!

So happy because someone is FINALLY officially making it not okay to harass people. Which should've been done AGES ago, (hence the word HARASS) when James Dean ran his little car off a cliff. (From paparazzi, I think.) So, it's this "action shot" thing, right? They want a rise out of people so that they can get the big paying shot. But taking pictures up a girl's skirt and then getting punched in the face by her fiance, and following someone around in 5 cars all day long is just fucking pathetic. I wonder if their moms know what they're doing for work.

So alarmed because 1 in 5 gay men in major cities have HIV now...... What. the. fuck. 1 in 5? And apparently most of them don't even know they have it? This is a bit extra shocking for me because a lot of gay men pretend that they're not gay, and have sex with women. Kill me, but it's true. So all the women are getting it as well. And this is all because no one wants to wear condoms anymore and relies on the pill. But still insists on screwing as many people as they want. (Which used to be cool back when HIV, and all this other shit out here wasn't an issue) This is so scary it honestly baffles me! It makes me want to go sit in a corner forever. Maybe I will.

Some person left a comment about the HIV issue that I totally agree with:
"EVERYBODY - gay, straight, bi, whatever - needs to stop sleeping around so fu**ing much. Condoms help, but they aren't full proof. I'm not conservative or a prude by any means, but people have sex and jump from partner to partner like it's nothing. Maybe if everybody spent a little more time focusing on themselves instead of getting laid, we'd all be healthier and happier."


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

as the world falls down



There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes.
A kind of pale jewel
Open and closed
Within your eyes.
I'll place the sky
Within your eyes.

There's such a fooled heart
Beatin' so fast
In search of new dreams.
A love that will last
Within your heart.
I'll place the moon
Within your heart.

As the pain sweeps through,
Makes no sense for you.
Every thrill is gone.
Wasn't too much fun at all,
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

tiiiiiiired



I'm always tired for some reason. I guess there's something missing in my diet or whatever I've heard. I can't remember exactly what it is. But, I can pretty much sleep whenever. I bet I could fall asleep while, hahaha I just thought of a bunch of stuff. I'll say while the sky is falling, or during an earthquake. Which I have slept through, and some pretty big ones. haha It's been this way for years now. I used to fall asleep on the bus to school in the morning a lot. People always had to wake me up. Sleepy sleepy sleepy. The weather is about to get ugly too, and stay that way. That makes it worse. Always having to wear a jacket and living in jeans :( But actually I love jeans, I would live in them anyway. I just love t-shirts too. Zzzzzz, so very sleepy.




Monday, September 13, 2010

I just needed time alone, with my own thoughts
Got treasures in my mind but couldn’t open up my own vault
My childlike creativity, purity and honesty
Is honestly being prodded by these grown thoughts



potw

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Middle School



Wooooooow, this song is middle school. Sometimes I miss it a lot. I remember singing this song at the top of my lungs like a freak. I think middle school was the funnest time of my life. haha And I used to complain about being in Lynnwood and not Los Angeles and thought that life really sucked. I got my cartilage pierced for the first time and got my first cell phone, thought I was so cool. Hot guys were life. haha Now life is figuring out what the hell I'm doing with it. And it's even harder when you're thrown off track out of nowhere. But hey, one of my favorite quotes: It bees like that sometimes :) Everything happens or doesn't happen for a reason

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Friday, September 3, 2010

Screen Test


If we all had near death experiences and sad eyes.
Everything in life begins with a chance.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


I'm lifting you up, I'm letting you down, I'm dancing til' dawn, I'm fooling around, I'm not giving up, I'm making your love, this city's made us crazy and we must get out ♥

Monday, August 23, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

So I found this and almost started crying, I thought I was reading a book about myself. Well I guess I pretty much was. haha Not sure how I stumbled upon that site but I'm glad I did. :) Reading about how different people of different signs are is very interesting. Everything that I've read on this site and tied to someone I know has been completely accurate. I think it's funny that our personalities are based off of what time of the year we were born ♥



Tuesday, August 17, 2010


She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus, and America too
Shes a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses, and her boyfriend too, yeah yeah

It's a long day living in Reseda
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart

And I'm free, free fallin', fallin'

All the vampires walkin' through the valley
They move west down Ventura Boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, free fallin', fallin'

I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her, her name in the sky
I wanna free fall out into nothin'
Oh, I'm gonna leave this world for a while

Now I'm free, free fallin', fallin'

Summer

Yesterday, 'I don't wanna be in love' by Good Charlotte came on my Ipod and it made me think of Summer 2008 when I went to see them, and I made a T-shirt that said that on the back in big black letters, but went to the concert with a guy that I really liked. haha Summers not as exciting as it used to be. Especially back in high school.

I remember when concerts sounded so fun. The ones where you might just get trampled. But I can't even picture that anymore. All I want now is a beer in a small place with a small crowd and a band with a lead singer that may be a little drunk. When Justin Nozuka and Sam Bradley came to this little spot in Seattle last December, (I was half way stalking Robert Pattinson) but I really wanted to go to that. But my ADD made me forget about it until weeks after the event. Maybe they'll come back. :) I really do love J. Nozuka haha


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


"You should have the opportunity to be more than one person with different people - because you have that within you. It's not like you're faking it. If everyone knows you so well and can always get a hold of you, then you're stuck to this thing that people think you are. You should have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Because you do. Naturally."

"I'm just a big, hard tool."

"We're all screwed up. And we rely on those closest to us, like family and friends, to get us through whatever it is we are going through, despite how dysfunctional we may be."

"The stuff I find attractive in women I always regret finding attractive. I always like a kind of madness in a woman... I like it when they hate me right from the beginning."

“I don’t exercise. I’m skinny fat. I worry about being too skinny."

"I would do it. Push a button, pull a trigger, climb a mountain, jump off a cliff cause you know baby, I love you love you a little bit."

‎"Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It’s so true. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the best love, but it’s the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say, ‘Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart’. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it’s good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts."

‎"It’s much easier for a guy to say what he wants and not to be cute and funny all the time, but, if you’re a strong sort of woman, you’re just, for lack of a better word, a bitch."


“I don’t know how many more of these awards I can come up for because I think a little bit is coming out of my pants right now.”

“You don't need to give reasons for the things you do - you just have to do what you want. And sometimes the thing that seems messed up to everyone else is what’s right for you. You have to do it and not be ashamed of it.”

"Next time get your facts right. Google me and act right."

‎"Reading a script and loving a character and not getting to play them is like having a crush on someone and not being able to fuck them."

‎"Be healthy and fuck everyone. Seriously, like whatever!"
“Should I give you another one without that? Be healthy and don’t care about what anyone thinks. Because like, it doesn’t matter.”

"Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na NaNaNaNaaah"
XXXO

“Anger is a gift. It’s actually the strongest form of motivation. If you learn how to channel it right, I mean, you’ll find that you can better yourself from it, more than you ever would have.”

"I hope they never find out, what they already know, know, know. As soon as its official, we'll have to let it go, go, go. So we don't confirm the fling, keep avoiding all the questions, you could teach me many things, I'm just scared to learn the lessons."

“Well for me it’s just… better not to want anything. That way, if it goes away or… doesn’t happen… it doesn’t matter.”


“Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows.”


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

5 things that I'm thinking about

o1. Los Angeles

o2. It is so hard... to not like a singer, when their music is just so good. John Mayer and Chris Brown, stop.

o3. 'When everybody else is getting out of bed I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it, I'm in it for you'
is probably the best lyrics I've heard and will hear this summer

o4. What I'm gonna do next

o5. The novels 'Bel Ami' and 'King's General' ♥

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


At the clear fountain,
While I was strolling by,
I found the water so nice
That I went in to bathe.

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget.

Under an oak tree,
I dried myself.
On the highest branch,
A nightingale was singing.

So long I've been loving you,
I will never forget.



♥ 3:19





Time after time
You been coppin' mine but
Can I have a good time at yours tonight?

'Cause everytime we try to get close
There is always something big I'm thinking about

(You want me)
XXXO

You want me be
Somebody who I'm really not
You want me be
Somebody who I'm really not

A knock at the door
Then we hit the floor
And all I know is that you leave me wanting more

I don't let it show
But I think you know
'Cause you're tweeting me like Tweety Bird on your iPhone


Friday, July 23, 2010

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

music music music music :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

photo of the week


Thought I would start posting them, hehe


Thursday, July 8, 2010





< 3


you gave it all
gave into the call
you took a chance and
you took the fall for us
you came thoughtfully
loved me faithfully
you taught me honor
you did it for me

today you will slip away
you will wait for me my love

now I am strong
you gave me your all
you gave all you had
and now I am whole

Sunday, July 4, 2010

My Favorite Songs

I can make a list finally. I never could really do this!


their cell - girl in a coma
oh star - paramore
the unknown - emily leopold
hallelujah - paramore
death and all his friends - coldplay





Saturday, July 3, 2010

Friday, July 2, 2010


Two thumbs up. This one was better than the first two. K-Stew has pulled some kind of acting bug out of her ass and she's on a much better roll. I loved it very very much. A lot more funny and the action was amazing, too. I'm really fighting not to waste my money and see it again. I'll probably lose this fight. But something crazy happened to me, I don't know at what point exactly during the movie, but I realized Taylor Lautner is gorgeous. When and why? I dunno. I was always so focused on his steroid abused "beautiful" body that everyone was so obsessed with, but even behind the gym built beauty, he's a great looking guy. lol Once you get used to his nose. Which after 2 years everyone has. Not anywhere near Robert, but hey, I don't think he's ugly anymore! I actually see what other women see in him. But anyways, best soundtrack yet as well. This movie gets a gold star, even though a lot of the dialogue was corny. Which is expected. It's Twilight.


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

chasing forever


Don't really know what's going on right now. It's summer so nothing really has to make sense I guess. Staying up until 3 am for no reason and then waking up at 1 pm is alright. I'm focusing on my goal but there's not really much I can do when I'm just waiting. Waiting until a certain person calls, or e-mails back, waiting until my next audition, waiting until I can actually make it to Seattle, if I don't have the drive to get my ass there on a whim, oh and dealing with how there are no fucking jobs in this ugly part of the country anyway. And the weather isn't helping the summer vibe at all. It still rains every so often which is crap. But Eclipse comes out today so everything's alright for the time being. :) The action looks pretty good in this one, and finally Jake takes a hike. Well he doesn't take a hike but he gets the picture.


" The great thing about sleeping with a midget is that first you get to have sex with them and then you can use them as a pillow. Those little midgets have it so easy. Sometimes when I see one, I want to chase it. I don't want to scare them, but I want to hold them and cuddle them. Mostly I would like one for the carpool lane.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: If you want something bad enough, you just have to go after it."
- Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life

Hahaha, I'm reading one of Chelsea Handler's books. I don't even know the word for her cause she's a little bit more than funny or hilarious. If there was a word for 'hilarious' and 'real' put together, I guess that would be it! Just looked at one of those articles that show in a line on Yahoo.com and the headline says "In most U.S. states, one in four are obese." God we're all fat lards. Jesus. And I lose weight by accident without even meaning or wanting to. Wtf.


Anyways this is a really good song, and it has Hermione

x

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sickest movie soundtrack ever?



"What Part of Forever" - Cee Lo Green
"My Love" - Sia
"Heavy in Your Arms" - Florence + The Machine


6/30

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I'm booooooo oooooooo ooo oooooooooo oooooo ooooo ooooo oooooo oooo ooooo ooooo oooooooooooooo ooo ooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo oooooo ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo ooo oooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooo ooooooooo ooooooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo ooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo ooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo oooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooo ooooooooo ooooo oooooooooooooo oooooooooooo oooo oooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo oooooooooooo oooooo oooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo o oooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo oooooooo oooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo ooooooored with my life right now. Sunny 77 Seattle tomorrow to drop off my portfolio and find an agent.